


the sun was never like this

by bloopee



Category: History (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 23:39:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9630050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloopee/pseuds/bloopee
Summary: how kyungil and yijeong know, but don't.





	

**Author's Note:**

> stole the title from fun.'s 'why am i the one'

Fanservice means nothing to them.

 

It's a joke.

 

They always talk before going out in front of their fans; they practice, they decide how they're gonna do things. They decide things like when Kyungil will grab Yijeong's ass and when Yijeong will _secretly_ stare at Kyungil.

 

What isn't a joke are the things they don't practice, don't decide and don't talk over - things that neither one of them mentions but they wordlessly acknowledge, or don't, that they're there.

 

Like Kyungil's long stares following Yijeong's dancing body. How his eyes glisten when Yijeong's sweet singing voice draws into his deeper lazy talking after they step off the stage. 

 

How it drives Yijeong crazy and how he wants to talk about how he finds the stare unnerving, though that's far from the truth.

 

How Kyungil has a habit of unconsciously biting his lip while looking at Yijeong.

 

It used to be something of practice - a thing he'd do because he knew fans loved it - he'd bite his lip whenever Yijeong did anything remotely out of the ordinary.

 

But that wasn't the case anymore.

 

Now it was an impulse, something he just did, and Yijeong's not even sure Kyungil's realized this himself. 

 

It's just something that's there that Yijeong is painfully aware of, and he feels like he shouldn't be, he feels as though it's nothing, just a pass as a cruel joke from his mind, but he might want it to be something. 

 

All those times when Yijeong would start putting his hands all over Kyungil during interviews or just glancing at him with his eyes shining like Kyungil were something made of gold, a faint smile on his face.

 

It always took Kyungil by surprise when he'd suddenly feel Yijeong's hand snake up his thigh during an interview.

 

Not unwelcomed. Kyungil would flinch, more of surprise than anything else, his guard down and gone, and after that would happen one too many times he'd learn to always keep it up around Yijeong, even when he would do nothing but turn to Kyungil and laugh childishly.

 

It made Kyungil feel weird and weak and not right.

 

So tempting. Teasing. Though he guesses it was probably nothing.

 

Kyungil would always shoot back a smile of his own, though that happened rarily. He's ignored it, mostly. Ignored Yijeong.

 

He's used to doing it by now. To acting like he doesn't notice the secret glances, because they were too distracting.

 

His guard up, Yijeong would still manage to take him by surprise to this day, and that's probably the most surprising thing to Kyungil. Something he can't fix as much as he'd want to. 

 

Something he's tragically defenseless about.

 

 

 

When Kyungil would sleep, exhausted from working out and dancing until his lungs would give out, how Yijeong would carefully wrap a blanket around his heavy body, draw the blinds and close the door so quiet, even he wouldn't hear it.

 

When Yijeong would finally be forced to do something around the dorm - washing dishes - and he would ask Kyungil to roll up his sleeves with an almost challenging smirk, his hands wet. Kyungil would begrudingly do it, murming something about Yijeong being a brat and Yijeong would go away with a small thanks.

 

When Kyungil would be out of the dorm and Yijeong would get a text message at a little over 2AM, being cursed of not sleeping and wasting time on his phone, the message asking if he wanted beef skewers or fried chicken and to get his pretty butt to one of their most visited underground restaurants.

 

When Yijeong would come back home with something like bright socks with colorful fishes or parrots on them and tell Kyungil that he'd gotten them while thinking of him. Kyungil would look at Yijeong, a little annoyed, but it soon being replaced by an amused smile and Yijeong would see him wearing the same socks around the dorm just a day later.

 

How Yijeong would think about Kyungil when the nights in their dorm just seemed too long, too drawn out and too dark and he'd leave his bedroom for their bathroom, where he'd hope Kyungil wouldn't hear Yijeong thinking of him while wrapping his hands all over himself, imagining them to be Kyungil's.

 

How Kyungil would pretend not to notice any of it happening, how he'd pretend to not being guilty of the same thing - imagining Yijeong letting Kyungil do anything and everything to him, letting him break and letting him fix, letting him do all of it.

 

How Kyungil would pamper and spoil, and how Yijeong would feel like the most precious thing with Kyungil near him. How he'd talk and how Kyungil would listen. 

 

How Kyungil would do and Yijeong would let him.

 

How Kyungil had promised Yijeong countless things before leaving for his military service and how he'd forgotten most of them seconds later, only to remember them later the same day, only to forget again and Yijeong watching it all happen with an idiotic smile.

 

When Kyungil left for his military service and only two days later Yijeong felt like something crucial was missing for him to have a good day. Something that made things warm and with it gone the warmth was also missed. 

 

Something, which just wasn't right. 

 

How the bed beside his was too empty, or how the dorm seemed too big for him. How the dance studio was way spacious and he didn't have to wait for his turn in the recording booth for so long.

 

How he'd keep remembering the day, the hours and minutes before Kyungil left, not even for forever, and Yijeong had spent it all with him, sad and happy. Proud and afraid.

 

How...

 

How things just happened.

 

How they'd get flustered over nothing and everything. How they wouldn't notice, or act like they didn't, the most obvious things.

 

How they'd be most careful and careless about anything concerning them.

 

How they both were and weren't, and how they both thought and didn't about one another.

 

How they hugged when they shouldn't have and when they kissed when they didn't think they would.

 

How nothing had changed, but everything was different.


End file.
